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Stylist •

Often pretend you’re in a music video? A psychologist explains why it’s good for you

It usually happens on trains. As soon as my headphones are in and the countryside starts passing in a blur, the version of myself I knew just moments ago begins to disappear. In the blink of an eye, I’m a woman setting off on an epic adventure to escape the demons of her past, raindrops falling down the window as the bridge of Taylor Swift’s Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve plays in the background. The mix of sadness and hope is so thick in the air you can almost taste it. The camera is just about
Stylist •

The overwhelming reality of experiencing post-engagement anxiety

When Ellen’s* boyfriend of five years proposed to her earlier this year, she was hit by a jumble of emotions. The couple, who were on holiday at the time, spent the next few hours calling friends and family, soaking in the joy and excitement their news was bringing their loved ones. “It was a blur of emotion and excitement,” Ellen tells Stylist. “I felt like the most important person in the world – I don’t think I’ve ever felt more loved than in the moments of seeing my friends’ and family’s fac
Stylist •

Forget the extrovert v introvert debate – it’s time to get to know your ‘social battery’

A couple of years ago, I came to the conclusion that I’m an ‘extroverted introvert’. I love spending time with friends and colleagues and tend to be pretty loud in social situations, but I also need alone time to relax and recharge before I take on the world again. How much ‘social’ time I’m able to tolerate depends on a number of factors, including what’s going on with my mental health and how I’m feeling emotionally. But for the most part, I know how to strike that balance. Recently, however,
Stylist •

“Sorry, I’m a complete mess”: can self-deprecation ever be good for you?

I’m in the middle of talking to my flatmate about my outfit plans for Saturday when she interrupts me. “What did you just say?” she asks, looking at me with one eyebrow raised. “I just said I’m going to try and not look like a potato,” I reply with a smirk. “That’s always the goal, of course – but this weekend, I at least want one photo of me where I don’t look like a complete mess.” She stops what she’s doing and turns to me, both eyebrows raised now. “You’re doing it again, putting yourself do
Stylist •

The new hobby dilemma: why are so many of us afraid to be beginners?

Like many of us, I tried to pick up a new hobby during lockdown. Faced with an endless slew of Zoom calls, an overactive mind and way too much free time, I needed to take my mind off of things – and learning a new skill felt like the perfect antidote to the stagnancy of life during a pandemic. First, I tried watercolour painting. I follow a number of incredible watercolour artists on Instagram, and I’d always thought it looked like a nice way to relax and unwind. But that didn’t end up being the
Stylist •

“Why does being asked if you’re OK make you suddenly… not OK?”

If you’ve ever burst out in tears after a (well-meaning) friend asked you whether you were OK, you’ll know what I’m talking about. We’ve all had those moments where we’re fine one minute and a mess the next, and while it always feels nice to let everything out, it can also be a bit of a shock to the system. So, why do questions like ‘are you OK?’ have the power to break down those emotional boundaries? Are we always more close to tears than we think, or is it just that our friends have the power
Stylist •

“Why do I always feel the need to ‘fix’ people in my relationships?”

At the end of the day, most people want to make a positive difference to the lives of those around them. While it might not always work out that way, a large majority of us would rather make things better than worse. But for some people, this drive to make things better – to ‘fix’ the problems of others – is more of a need than a preference. This urge to help is also known as a ‘fixer mentality’ – a psychological term used to describe someone who feels this need to ‘step in’ and help solve other
Stylist •

“Am I really emotionally exhausted, or is Instagram just telling me so?”

When was the last time you stumbled upon an Instagram post that made you wonder whether you might be burnt out or diagnosed yourself with high-functioning anxiety after watching a TikTok? If you’ve been on social media at all recently, it probably hasn’t been long. In the age of peak self-awareness, social media content about mental health and emotional wellbeing is dominating our feeds more than ever before. On Instagram alone, the hashtag #MentalHealth has over 40 million posts, and on TikTok,
Stylist •

Depp vs Heard may be over, but this is why its impact will be felt for years to come

The high-profile defamation trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard may have come to an end last week, but the onslaught of misogyny and vitriol it’s brought to the surface will continue to take its toll for some time to come. The past two months have brought out the very worst of internet culture. Despite a UK judge previously finding that Depp had abused Heard on at least 12 occasions, the court of public opinion fell on the Pirates Of The Caribbean star’s side from the very beginning, resul
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Does the idea of being sick fill you with dread? You could have emetophobia

No matter what you call it, nobody really likes being sick. It’s one of those unpleasant things that we all (reluctantly) have to deal with – like having to wait for a delayed train or taking a cold shower when the boiler breaks. However, for people who live with emetophobia – an extreme fear of vomiting or seeing others throw up – being sick isn’t just an unpleasant event: it’s their worst nightmare. While the exact number of people who suffer from this phobia is not known (research into the co
Stylist •

What happens inside our brains when we’re feeling lonely?

Loneliness is one of those emotions that can be hard to define. While we’ve all felt lonely at one point or another, it can be hard to describe exactly how it feels – and it has the tendency to pop up at some seemingly random moments, like when you’re surrounded by people at a social event or at certain times of the year, such as Christmas. But underneath the surface, loneliness is a lot more logical than you might expect. And understanding why and how loneliness works can make it seem less over
Stylist •

Female hormones can exacerbate asthma – so why do doctors still use a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach?

Emma Amoscato was three years old when she experienced her first asthma attack. Now 40 and living in Bedfordshire, she had to deal with several bad attacks during her childhood, but her daily inhalers helped to keep things relatively stable. When she reached puberty, however, things changed. While Amoscato’s asthma calmed down and “pretty much went away” by the time she turned seven, it began to flare up again when she turned 13 – a reality her newly teenage self was reluctant to admit. “At that
Stylist •

These powerful photos shine a light on the reality of perinatal mental health issues

While conversations about mental health have increased over the last couple of years, the unique mental health challenges many people face during pregnancy and in the postnatal period have often been overlooked. The reality, however, is that 10-20% of pregnant people experience mental health problems during pregnancy or in the first year after pregnancy – and suicide is one of the leading causes of maternal death in the UK within a year after childbirth. This lack of awareness also contributes t
Stylist •

“We’re like sisters now”: one woman on what it’s been like to welcome a Ukrainian family

In mid-March, 29-year-old Aimee Stott, who lives with her two sons, aged 7 and 9, in Bridgend, Wales, decided she wanted to provide a home for refugees fleeing Ukraine. After joining a couple of Facebook groups, she received a message from Olesya – a 34-year-old mother of one – asking if she and her 3-year-old son could come and stay with the family while her husband remained at their home in central Ukraine. The pair hit it off from the start – and decided to apply for the Homes for Ukraine sch
Stylist •

One year on from Sarah Everard’s murder, is the UK a safer place for women and girls?

Today marks one year since Sarah Everard was kidnapped and murdered by Wayne Couzens. The 33-year-old marketing executive – who was falsely arrested by the then-serving Metropolitan police officer while walking home from a friend’s house in south London – was missing for seven days before her remains were discovered in woodland near Ashford, Kent, on 10 March. In the days, weeks and months that followed, Everard’s case sparked both an outpouring of grief and a powerful national conversation abou
Stylist •

This heartbreaking portrait collection spotlights the 118 women killed by men last year

During parliament’s International Women’s Day debate in March this year, MPs listened in silence as Jess Phillips read out the names of the 118 women who had been lost to male violence over the last year. The sixth such address Phillips has delivered since 2016, this year’s names included Bibaa Henry and Nicole Smallman – the two sisters who were stabbed to death in a brutal attack in London’s Fryent Country Park in June 2020 – as well as the 116 other women who lost their lives to male violence
Stylist •

Is it ever OK to get involved in your friends’ relationships?

Most of us will talk about pretty much anything with our friends, but when it comes to relationships – specifically, our friends’ romantic relationships – things can get a little bit tricky. No one wants to watch their friend get hurt, or see them be messed around by someone who doesn’t appreciate them. But getting involved – whether that’s by sharing your opinion, giving advice or speaking to your friend’s partner directly – can often complicate things further, especially if your friend doesn’t
Stylist •

The serious impact of NHS mental health bed cuts on the patients who need them

But this surge in demand has not been met by a surge in support. The number of beds in NHS mental health hospitals has actually fallen by a quarter since 2010, according to new analysis of NHS figures conducted by Labour. The report, which was published by The Guardian last week, highlights that there are now almost 6,000 fewer beds for those in need of in-patient treatment – in 2020-21 there were only 17,610 consultant-led mental health beds in England, compared to 23,447 in 2010-11.

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